Missandei and Grey Worm have had an increasing attraction to each other since joining the service of Daenerys Targaryen. Missandei is an expert translator that knows 19 different languages who is also a de facto aide-de-camp and advisor to Daenerys, while Grey Worm is the commander of the Unsullied legions that fight for the dragon-queen.

Their growing relationship is complicated by Grey Worm's brutal training as an Unsullied: slave-soldiers and warrior-eunuchs, they are taken as babies or small boys, castrated, then put through a brutal training regime which only one out of four boys survive. The Unsullied's training regime is also meant to utterly dehumanize them so they consider themselves to be expendable, willing to fall on their swords without hesitation at the whim of their slave-masters. Not simply like other eunuchs, the Unsullied are meant to have all human emotions stripped from them.

As Grey Worm rediscovers his freedom, however, his slowly gains a sense of personhood, including growing feelings for Missandei, who sympathies with the suffering he has endured.

Missandei herself was taken in a slaver-raid when she was five years old, from her home on the island of Naath off the coast of Sothoryos. She remembers the home she lost, unlike Grey Worm who doesn't remember being taken as a baby from the Summer Islands, and the bond over the losses both endured under slavery.

Season 3

Grey Worm and Missandei meet in Season 3, and don't speak much to eachother.

Season 4

Missandei begins teaching Grey Worm the Common Tongue, so he can better communicate with Daenerys' allies. It is here where they start to form a connection. One day, Grey Worm and some other soldiers are swimming in a nearby river, where he sees Missandei and a group of women bathing. Even though he is a eunuch, he stared at her as she bathed, which led to her feeling disturbed. She told Daenerys about the incident, but she told Missandei not to be worried. After the incident, Grey Worm apologizes to Missandei, but she can tell that he is interested in her, even with his castration. Missandei hints that she would not be opposed to his interests.

Season 5

When White Rat, a member of the Unsullied is murdered in a brothel by a Son of the Harpy, Missandei asks Grey Worm why an Unsullied would visit a brothel, because all Unsullied are castrated at birth. He simply says that he doesn't know. After fighting The Sons of the Harpy with Barristan Selmy, Grey Worm is injured, and Selmy is dead. When Missandei comes to his bedside, Grey Worm explains how he failed Ser Barristan by letting him die, and by failing Daenerys. But then he said he feared he would die, because he would never see Missandei again. Grey Worm's words touch Missandei, and they kiss for the first time.

Season 6

Grey Worm and Missandei spend two times when it is just them and Tyrion. One time, Tyrion tries to convince them to drink, but they both refuse. The second time, they do try the wine and both tell jokes after Tyrion prompted them to.

Season 7

Before Grey Worm departs to take Casterly Rock, Missandei stops him, and they go into his chambers. Soon they start to kiss, and Missandei removes her clothes. Grey Worm hesitates, because he doesn't want her to see his castration scars, but he realizes that she loves him for who he is, not what he looks like. They spend the night together.

Appearances together

Season Three appearances
Valar Dohaeris Dark Wings, Dark Words Walk of Punishment And Now His Watch Is Ended Kissed by Fire
The Climb The Bear and the Maiden Fair Second Sons The Rains of Castamere Mhysa
Season Four appearances
Two Swords The Lion and the Rose Breaker of Chains Oathkeeper First of His Name
The Laws of Gods and Men Mockingbird The Mountain and the Viper The Watchers on the Wall The Children
Season Five appearances
The Wars To Come The House of Black and White High Sparrow Sons of the Harpy Kill the Boy
Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken The Gift Hardhome The Dance of Dragons Mother’s Mercy
Season Six appearances
The Red Woman Home Oathbreaker Book of the Stranger The Door
Blood of My Blood The Broken Man No One Battle of the Bastards The Winds of Winter
Season Seven appearances
Dragonstone Stormborn The Queen's Justice The Spoils of War Eastwatch Beyond the Wall The Dragon and the Wolf

Image gallery

In the books

There is no budding attraction between Grey Worm and Missandei in the books, given that the book version of Missandei is only ten years old - the same age as Arya Stark at the time. In spite of her age, she is incredibly intelligent well beyond her years and serves as a key advisor and aide to Daenerys, although in the TV series, she is shown to be reluctant to counsel her without prompting.

As for the plausibility of such a relationship, just because a eunuch does not feel sexual attraction, this does not prevent him from having human emotional attachments. In the books, some time after Daenerys captures Meereen, an Unsullied called Stalwart Shield is the target of a revenge killing by one of the old slaver families. Daenerys asks how this Unsullied was ambushed alone, given that they patrol the streets in pairs. She is told that Stalwart Shield went off on his own to a brothel, where he was ambushed. Daenerys is confused why a eunuch would visit a prostitute, and Grey Worm himself explains to her that "Even those who lack a man's parts may still have a man's heart." Stalwart Shield simply paid prostitutes to lay with him and hold him lovingly, to feel some sort of basic human affection after a lifetime of brutal debasement at the hands of the slave masters. David Benioff described how the Missandei/Grey Worm romance grew as the series progressed: “This evolved, frankly, because these two actors who were supposed to have quite small parts just impressed us. And then it became very interesting to us: What if there was some kind of attraction here, because it’s almost the ultimate Romeo and Juliet story. How is it possible for there to be a love story between a young woman and a young eunuch?”[1]