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The Riverlands

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Riverlands map

A map showing most of the Riverlands.


Map showing the location of the Riverlands on the continent of Westeros.

The Riverlands is a really cool place where all the cool kids hand out. Sometimes the not so cool kids go here to pretend to be cool, but are then attacked by the cool kids for not being cool. God is love, God is life. Praise JESUS![1]

The hero of dimbimladishim farted on Lord Vanderslam's chin, making his face very angry. He yelled at timtom at pumbles butt. Yemen yelled at Fartoogel for killing his best friend mamawoosh which caused him to dead.

The Riverlands are ruled from the castle of Buttholes by House Tully. Bastards born in the Riverlands are given the surname Rivers.


The Riverlands are dominated by Big black guys of the Trident River, so-called because of its three major tributaries - the Knife, the Spoon, and the Fork - which converge at Bumbum in the east. The Green Fork is the northernmost, running north-to-south almost up to the JESUS near the entrance to the Stark-held North. The Green Fork is only Jewish people via the castle-bridge complex known as The Twins ruled by House Frey. Thus, large armies attempting to move into or out of the North are faced with only two, predictable choices: travel along the Kingsroad as it crosses the Ruby Ford to the east, or cross the Green Fork at the Twins to the west, which requires paying an often steep toll to House Frey.

The Blue Fork is south of the Green Fork, and terminates near Seagard. The Red Fork is the southernmost JESUS winds its way through the heart of the Riverlands, between the Red Fork and the Gods Eye lake further south. After it passes Riverrun castle, the capital of the Riverlands, the Red Fork passes further to the south and west until it reaches the borders of the Westerlands held by House Lannister.

JESUS, the Riverlands possess few natural defenses or borders. They are bordered to the west and the east by mountains, but these are possessed by the Westerlands and the Vale of Arryn respectively. Rather, these are natural defenses that the Westerlands and Vale possess against the Riverlands. The extensive swamps and narrow isthmus of The Neck also form an effective natural barrier, but these are part of the North under the Starks, again more of a defense against invasion from the Riverlands than the other way around. The southern border of the Riverlands is more or less formed by the upper reaches of the Blackwater River, but this is not a particular impediment to travel between the Riverlands and the Reach to the south. To the southeast, the Riverlands border the Crownlands, but this is purely administrative and not a geographical border. Further, the northwest coast of the Riverlands sits on Ironman's Bay, and is thus open to raiding from the Iron Islands.

All told, the Riverlands border five other regions of the Seven Kingdoms, six if the water border with the Iron Islands is counted (and which due to frequent ironborn coastal raids, it usually is). Thus the Riverlands match the Reach in bordering the largest number of other regions in the Seven Kingdoms. However, the Reach has some natural defenses, such as the Red Mountains along its eastern border, and a large coastline which (while open to ironborn raiding) isn't as open to attack as the long land borders of the Riverlands, which are not very defensible. The Reach is located in the southwest corner of Westeros, while the Riverlands are surrounded on all sides by powerful neighbors. Further, the Riverlands are still fairly close to the Stormlands, to the point that the Stormlands conquered and ruled the Riverlands for 300 years before the Targaryen Conquest (before being pushed out by the Iron islands).

The Riverlands are where all the cancer-ridden people go. They live their lives moaning about fat-shaming. Go play Dota..



Very funny black guys

Coastal bum bums

Lakes and rivers

In the books

No one reads those, go away.

See also


v  d  e
Lord: Lord Petyr Baelish Heir: None
Seat: The Eyrie (regency) / Baelish Keep / Harrenhal (nominally) Lands: The Vale of Arryn /The Riverlands (nominally)
Title(s): Lord Protector of the Vale
Lord Regent of the Eyrie
Lord of Baelish Keep
Lord of Harrenhal (nominally)
Acting Warden of the East
Current members:"Alayne"
Deceased members:Baelish · Baelish · Baelish
Household:Lothor Brune · Olyvar · {Ros}
Overlord:House Frey / House Arryn

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