Tyrion: I want what is mine by right. Jaime is your eldest son, heir to your lands and titles, but he is a Kingsguard, forbidden from marriage or inheritance. The day Jaime put on the white cloak he gave up his claim to Casterly Rock. I am your son and lawful heir.
Tywin: You want Casterly Rock?
Tyrion: It is mine by right.
Tywin: We'll find you accommodations more suited to your name and as a reward for your accomplishments during the Battle of Blackwater Bay. And when the time is right, you will be given a position fit for your talents, so that you can serve your family and protect our legacy. And if you serve faithfully, you will be rewarded with a suitable wife - and I would let myself be consumed by maggots before mocking the family name and making you heir to Casterly Rock!
Tyrion: [whisper] Why?
Tywin: Why? You ask that? You who killed your mother to come into the world? You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colors since I cannot prove that you are not mine. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Go, now. Speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock. Go! [Tyrion is deeply hurt, but starts to quietly leave the room] One more thing. [Tyrion turns around] The next whore I catch in your bed, I'll hang.
Tyrion: And how do a bear's balls taste?
Yoren: A bit chewy. What about you, mi'lord? What's the strangest thing you've eaten?
Tyrion: Do Dornish girls count? ― [src]
Hot Pie: I saw a man kill another man just outside a tavern in Flea Bottom. Stabbed him right in the neck.
Lommy Greenhands: Two men fighting isn't a battle.
Hot Pie: They had armor on.
Arya Stark: So?
Hot Pie: So, if they've got armor on, it's a battle.
Lommy Greenhands: No, it isn't.
Hot Pie: What does a dyer's apprentice know about battles, anyway?
Arya Stark: Gendry's an armorer's apprentice. Hot Pie, tell Gendry what makes a fight into a battle.
Hot Pie: It's, um... when they've got armor on.
Gendry: And who told you that?
Hot Pie: [pause] A knight.
Gendry: How'd you know he was a knight?
Hot Pie: Well... because he's got armor on.
Gendry: You don't have to be a knight to buy armor. Any idiot can buy armor.
Hot Pie: How do you know?
Gendry: Because I sold armor. ― [src]
Theon Greyjoy: I'm a Greyjoy. We've been lords of the Iron Islands for 300 years, there's not a family in Westeros that can look down on us. Not even the Lannisters.
Ros: What about the Starks?
Theon Greyjoy: I've been Lord Stark's ward since I was eight years old.
Ros: "Ward?" That's a nice word for it. Your father rebelled against King Robert,
and if he doesn't...
Theon Greyjoy: [grabs Ros by the neck] My father fought for the freedom of his people. What did your father do? Fucked a cook and whelped a whore.
Ros: You're a very serious boy.
Theon Greyjoy: I'm not a boy.
Ros: Oh yes, you are. [Ros grabs Theon's crotch]
Ros: A serious boy with a serious cock.
Theon Greyjoy: I don't want to pay for it.
Ros: Then get yourself a wife. ― [src]
Melisandre: The King has taken for his sigil the fiery heart of the Lord of Light.
Renly Baratheon: Ah, you must be this fire priestess we hear so much about. Mmm... brother, now I understand why you found religion in your old age.
Stannis Baratheon: Watch yourself, Renly.
Renly Baratheon: No, no, I'm relieved. I never really believed you were a fanatic. Charmless, rigid, a bore, yes, but... but not a godly man.
Melisandre: You should kneel before your brother. He's the Lord's Chosen. Born amidst salt and smoke.
Renly Baratheon: "Born amidst salt and smoke." Is he a ham?
Stannis Baratheon: That's twice I've warned you.
Catelyn Stark: Listen to yourselves. If you were sons of mine, I would knock your heads together and lock you in a bedchamber until you remembered that you were brothers.
Stannis Baratheon: It is strange to find you beside my brother, Lady Stark. Your husband was a supporter of my claim. Lord Eddard's integrity cost him his head, and you sit beside this pretender and chastise me. ― [src]
- "If any man dies with a clean sword, I'll rape his f*cking corpse!"
- ―The Hound
- "Oh, shut up, you little fool. Praying for the Gods to have mercy on us all? The Gods have no mercy, that's why they are Gods. My father told me that when he caught me praying. My mother has just died, you see. I didn't really understand the concept of death. The finality of it. I thought if I prayed very very hard, the Gods would return her to me. I was four."
- "Tears aren't a woman's only weapon. The best one's between your legs."
- "I've been all over the world, my boy, and everywhere I go people tell me about the 'true gods', they all think they found the right one. The one true god is what's between a woman's legs. And better yet a Queen's legs."
- ―Salladhor Saan
- "I'm not threatening the King, Ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. That was a threat. See the difference?"
- "We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot boy king."
- "I remember reading an old sailor's proverb. Piss on Wildfire and your c*ck burns off."
- "Give me ten men and some climbing spikes, I'll impregnate the bitch."
- "If I could tell you how many crazy old men pushing carts around army camps making grand claims about jars filled with pig shit. No offense meant."
- "I will go to war with him if I have to. They can write a ballad about us. A war for Cersei's cunt."
- "King in the North, I keep expecting you to leave me in one castle or another for safekeeping, but you drag me along from camp to camp. Have you grown fond of me, Stark? Is that it? I've never seen you with a girl."
- "Oh no please! Seduce away, it's been so long! I rather think it's all for naught. What happens when the nonexistent bumps against the decrepit? A question for the philosophers."
- ―Olenna Tyrell